{"title":"Master Ken LIVE - Thousand Oaks","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNOT EVERYONE CAN SAY THEY SURVIVED MASTER KEN.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTake home the proof!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eShop exclusive Master Ken LIVE merchandise from Thousand Oaks, CA — October 17, 2026!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFrom limited-edition collectibles and premium T-shirts to official Department of Groin Stomping gear, take home a piece of the laughter, memories, and questionable martial arts wisdom.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e🥋 \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePRE-SHOW SPECIAL:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Save $10 on the exclusive \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eI Survived Master Ken LIVE\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e collection, if you buy before 2p PT Saturday October 17, 2026 - includes priority photo access at 4p with Master Ken!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLimited quantities available. Once they’re gone, they’re gone!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAlways Restomp the Groin!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"ameri-do-te-patch","title":"Master Ken Tiger Patch","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(255, 42, 0);\"\u003e\u003cb\u003e🫵 MASTER KEN SHIPPING ALERT ⚠️\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaster Ken is away on a classified international mission.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eMost orders will ship as usual. 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EXCLUSIVE DEPARTMENT OF GROIN STOMPING T-SHIRT\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eReport for duty in your official Department uniform, featuring the Department of Groin Stomping seal.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLimited colors and sizes available\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTri-blend upgrade available for an additional $4\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e2. YOUR FIRST (AND LAST) PAYCHECK – ONE GAZILLION DOLLARS\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCongratulations! 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OFFICIAL DEPARTMENT EMPLOYEE ID CARD + LANYARD\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEvery employee receives one randomly assigned position from five highly prestigious (and mostly unnecessary) departments:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003eGroin Research Scientist\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – Laboratory Division\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003eG.I.A. 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